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Name: Christy
Country: United States
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Birthday: 2/17/1985
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Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Am I the only one in the world who doesn't have it all together?

Lately I've been wondering.

Everywhere I look, it seems, there are people who are happy, who have good lives and healthy relationships.

What do I have?  Nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

I feel alone and dead.  Nobody to talk to, nobody to hang out with, nobody to share my struggles with.  I feel nothing and I enjoy nothing.

Empty.  Just empty.

I used to be happy.  I used to have friends and enjoy life.  Now that's all gone, ended, and there is nothing I can do about it.

Dead.  Hopeless.  Alone.

I wish I knew what to do.  I pray, but it doesn't seem to help.  I've talked to people, but that only helps for about five minutes.  I need answers.  I need a life.

I thought I needed to vent, but it hasn't helped.  Nothing helps.


Monday, November 21, 2005

Currently Listening
Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith - Original Motion Picture Soundtrack
see related

I seriously doubt anyone reads this anymore, but here I go.  Scenes 15 and 16, two months in the making.

Scene 15: Past and Present

            Within the borders of Westbrooke lay many villages. All were poor and many fell under the protection of a lord. Some were on a road, others out in the wilderness; some were in the mountains, while others were on the shores of the sea, but none of those were built in the trees. Only Redwood could lay claim to such forest villages. To the returning warriors of the village, it was nothing out of the ordinary; to the five knights in their escort, it was nothing short of a marvel.

 

           The trees themselves were enough to inspire awe. Covered with reddish-orange bark, most were in width as large as a small house and far higher; even craining their necks the knights could not see the top of the trees. More remarkable than this was the village built around them. Everywhere there were platforms stretching from tree to tree, spiraling up the trunks until they disappeared from view. From the ground specks of people could be seen, some walking across the platforms toward the earth, while others emerged from glowing domiciles within the tree. Their arrival was clearly a much longed-for event, as villagers came out by the dozens to greet them, some descending crude wooden staircases to ground level and others lowering themselves down in large wicker baskets. Soon the entourage was surrounded by loud curious people. Children ran wild on the forest floor, shouting myriad questions while their elders tried to quiet them. Some of the archers left the group to greet their families, but most remained aloof, filling in and retaining the formation. Kayla did not reprimand those who did.

 

          The joyful welcome, though not for them, greatly cheered the company, raising their spirits out of the dark crevice their initial greeting had put them into. What was left of the day seemed much brighter than before, which was why it was so surprising when Wyatt's words darkened it again. "Something is deeply wrong here." he announced quietly, eyes furiously scanning the crowd.

 

          Four heads jerked around to stare incredulously at the doomsayer. "What on earth are you talking about?" Scott asked in innocent disbelief.

 

           "Haven't you noticed?" Wyatt's voice held just as much disbelief, as if the situation should be obvious to everyone. "Look at the people; tell me what you see."

 

           "I see children here, many children, and the elderly ones of the village, come to welcome their warriors at the end of the day."

 

           "That much is readily seen." Wyatt stated flatly, not satisfied with the answer. "But that said, Sir Scott, where are those of able age? Or more specifically, where are the men?"

 

           The last words sounded like an accusation and at first seemed unfounded, but as they looked closer at the gathering crowd, they saw that the knight from Sullivan was right. The village was madeup largely of the very young and the very old, and most of those adults were women. There were some men, but these were all too old or infirm to fight off Holden's knights. At first they thought all of those men of age must be wearing the cloak and bow, but it soon became clear that their escort was made up of young women. Hoods were thrown back to reveal feminine faces and flowing hair, tied back and covered in sweat but definitely female. The knights tried to discern a masculine form among them, but there were none. Then the nature of the situation hit them: they were walking into a village ruled by the daughter of Redwood's former - and now deceased - lord, its forces under the command of a female captain, its defense in the hands of those women strong enough to pick up the bow, that defense being responsible for twice as many noncombatents as warriors. Something had changed in Redwood in the last five years and not for the better.

 

          "What happened here?" Steve asked breathlessly, voicing the question that haunted their minds.

 

         "Baron Madison happened here." a voice answered coldly. All turned and saw that it was Kayla who had spoken, walking just a few paces ahead of them. Her back was to them and though she walked tall, her shoulders sagged slightly, as if a burden had been newly laid on them.

 

          The feminine warrior sighed. "Holden and Redwood have always been enemies, ever at war, but never has war come to our land like this." she paused and her tone became distant, lost in bitter memory. "It began about six years ago; I was still a girl then, but I have heard first hand accounts from many people who remember the war's beginnings. You may recall that early in his reign King Timothy intervened in one of the many wars between us and Holden and made our enemy a vassal state to Westbrooke, bound to pay the King tribute and support him in war. The Baron then was ever bitter towards our mother country for this and he passed on his bitterness and anger to his son, Madison. It is said that on his deathbed he made the current Baron swear to avenge the grievances Westbrooke had heaped upon his country. True or not, Madison is determined to have his revenge on Redwood at the very least. Determining to destroy us once and for all, he made alliances with the barbarians of the northern mountains, raiders that have ever plagued both lands, and nearly doubled the size of his army overnight. The war began with just a few raids here and there, but it wasn't long before the real threat was revealed. Lord Robert called back all our knights and soldiers serving abroad, knowing that every one would be needed in the battle ahead."

 

          "Yes, I remember that," Dan mused thoughtfully, barely aware that he was interrupting. "Many knights in the King's service left for Redwood, saying that there was trouble in their homeland. No one thought anything of it because Redwood is at war so often with its neighbors."

 

          "And no doubt in the commotion surrounding the old monarch's death and the coronation of the new king, your people completely forgot about us."  Kayla said bitterly.  "Forgot about your bravest, most loyal servants.  When we were slaughtered in the thousands, you sat in your halls, eating and drinking and forgetting ..."

 

         "If we had known-"

 

         "Cease; it is no matter.  What is done is done."  Kayla took a deep breath, calmed herself and continued.  "Our soldiers rode to war, and many were lost in the first battles.  The enemy was too much for us and drove us back all the way to Castle Redwood.  A siege began, but did not last long before our warriors came out to meet them.  The battle was the fiercest and most bloody in our history; I was not there, but my captain was and says it was most terrible.  The enemy vastly outnumbered us, but our army had the advantage of the high ground.  The slaughter was great on both sides, but superior numbers won in the end.  What was left of their army broke into the castle and killed all they came upon.  Out of 80,000 men, women and children, less than a thousand survived and none of those were soldiers.  Redwood's entire army perished in the battle; Lord Robert was with them, as was his kinsman, Sir Scott Truthwielder, whose name I am told you might be familiar with."

 

          "Indeed," Wyatt answered.  "Half of the guard trained under him, including the current captain.  Many still wonder why he did not return to the City-Upon-the-Mountain."

 

          "And now you know, sir knight.  Still, you no doubt are wondering what became of the survivors of the great battle.  Well, though their sires did not survive, Bethany, heir to the noble house of Redwood, and her battle-trained cousin did.  The former assumed her title and gathered together the remnant of Redwood from all the villages that had thus far escaped the war.  At first I think she intended to retake Castle Redwood, but Madison's men reduced it to rubble and soon began attacking what was left of the people.  There were no trained warriors left among them, so her Ladyship armed all able-bodied men and sent them out to fight.  Though Holden's army was but a fraction of what it once was, it was formidible enough and many of our men fell before it in open battle.  In a few months, Redwood's makeshift army was nearly completely gone, and it was then that Christy proposed a change in strategy.  Instead of meeting brute force with brute force, speed, stealth and cunning would be our way of doing battle.  Rarely would we fight openly, instead striking quickly from a distance and retreating before the enemy could harm us.  All our warriors would be trained to the use of the bow, with the sword being used only as a last resort.  Since very few men were left, our forces would be supplemented by fighting women, now called bowmaidens, trained in war by the First Captain."

 

           Scott cleared his throat.  "Forgive the interruption, but how is it possible for all of these women to be trained by this, " he struggled to find a polite term.  "one noblewoman.  Surely she would not have the knowledge to do so."

 

          "Our captain is the daughter of a knight; from what I can surmise, she received some knightly training as a girl spending time amongst the squires in the castle barracks.  In any came, what she knows of warcraft she passes on to us the bowmaidens and we use it to fight the Baron's men."

 

          Brad laughed.  "An army of women taught by a bipolar woman whose only knowledge of the ways of war is from watching knights play.  I've never heard of anything so pathetic."

 

          "Pathetic to you, sir knight, but not to  Baron Madison," Kayla said defensively.  "The change in tactics was enought to turn the tide.  The enemy stopped slaughtering our forces in massive numbers and began to take losses.  We were never strong enough to drive them out, though, so the war continued.  Holden gained little ground, but we took losses and our army gradually diminished, while theirs has been steadily growing, especially in the last year.  We could not protect all our villages, so we kept losing them one by one, until all that is left is this last stronghold, if you can call it that.  And that brings us to the present." She sighed wistfully.  "We fight on, but our numbers are very small now and the far riders - you would call them scout cavalry - continuously bring us reports of a gathering army at the place where the castle once stood.  Decoys in the abandoned villages prevent them from knowing exactly where we are, but if aid does not come to us soon, I fear our village will be overrun." Her eyes grew watery.  "The reason I have told you all this is because I trust you are good men.  If you are worthy of my trust, please send word of our plight to your King; too long have we stood here alone.  Even if it is too late, it will give my people hope."

 

          Dan nodded an affirmation.  "I give you my word; it will be my first act once we are upon the road again.  A question, though, if I may: you said that Lady Bethany and the First Captain are cousins.  Are they close kin or distant relations?"  "Keep your friends close and your relatives closer," he mused silently.  If they are closely related and the last surviving members of Redwood's noble house, the bowmaiden captain's influence may be enough to sway the argument against us.

 

           If the bowmaiden suspected Dan's apprehension, she gave no sign of it.  "They are blood kin," she answered him.  "Lord Robert, may his ashes forever blow under the shadow of the trees, was Christy's uncle; she and her Ladyship grew up in his household.  His Lordship's sister was our First Captain's mother and her father was the aforementioned knight who was King Timothy's champion."

 

          Wyatt nearly fell over in his saddle.  "You mean to tellus that we were threatened and nearly killed by Sir Scott's daughter?"  Though he had never met the man, being from not long from Sullivan, he had grown up hearing tales of his exploits.  The rest of the company were equally surprised.

 

         "Well, that would explain her excellent aim.  They say good hand-eye coordination runs in the family."  Scott commented.

 

         Dan looked to be deep in thought.  "Lieutenant, are her Ladyship and the Captain all that is left of their house?" he asked absentmindedly.

 

         Kayla seemed distracted as well.  "No, my captain was a sister, but I do not know her well.  She is one of the few of age who does not bear arms."  To the knights' surprise, she let our a short whistle, which drew the attention of the remaining bowmaidens.  She called out to one of them.

 

         A young woman at the head of the column turned around.  "Yes, Kayla?"

 

        "Run to the stables and tell the keeper to set aside five stalls and to fill them with fresh hay and water.  The hour grows late and these animals need rest."

 

          "It will be done, Lieutenant."  With that, the bowmaiden took off.

 

           Kayla focused on the rest.  "As for all of you, I will need five bowmaidens to quarter the knights' horses, but beyond that you are free to return to your homes, save for those who have to watch.  In that case, good evening and peace be upon you."

 

            The warrior women murmured their own benedictions and dispersed, save for the aforementioned five.  These took the reins of the horses, prepared to lead them away.  Kayla addressed the company once more.  "Sir knights, please dismount and remove what you need from your packs.  Once this is done, we shall stable your mounts and find suitable quarters for you."

 

           Dan politely declined the offer.  "With all respect, we would feel better if we did not have to impose on your people's hospitality.  We are strangers here, and unwelcome strangers at that; it would not be right for us to invade your homes in this way.  Shelter our steeds, but let us make camp by the stables.  Your Ladyship's offer is a generous one, but I think it best that we not take advantage of it."


           Kayla eyed him curiously but did not protest.  "Very well; the stables are not much further.  It is isolated from most of the village, but there is room for a small camp.  You will not be disturbed there unless the knights of Holden break into the village.  If that happens, you will be very disturbed and likely very dead."  The poor attempt at a joke fell flat and the bowmaiden said no more until they reached the stables.

           Like every other house or hall in the village, the stables were not a constructed building, but one carved out of a large tree; in this case, a fallen tree.  Kayla halted the group at a tiny clearing about thirty yards away from the felled redwood and stood in its center expectantly.  The knights took the cue and dismounted, gathering whatever essentials from their packs that would be need.  Once they were finished, the remaining bowmaidens grasped the horses' bridles and led them away to the stables.  Wordlessly the company set about the business of making camp; supplies were sorted and kindling gathered for the fire, but it all came to a stop when the bowmaiden lieutenant approached the wounded Brad.

          "I think it is time we had a look at your shoulder."  Kayla said gently, taking his arm.  Four pairs of eyes fixed themselves on the two.  "I need water and fresh linen, if anyone has any."  She told the knights, fully aware of their attention.

           Wyatt rumaged through his pack to retrieve said items while the bowmaiden sat Brad down on the ground.  With the arrow sticking brazenly out from under his armor, the knight resembled a silver-and-blue pincushion.  The thought was not a comforting one and as Kayla scrutinized his shoulder, Brad began to sweat, hardly relishing the prospect of having an arrow ripped from his bleeding shoulder.  The canteen and the linen arrived a moment later and the bowmaiden set them in front of her, ready to use.  He gulped.

           The four remaining knights sat down to watch the unfolding spectacle, all other designs and plans flown from their minds.  Scott rubbed his chin thoughtfully.  "I was never a betting man, but ten ducats say that Brad squeels like a girl."  All of them laughed.

            Brad was not amused.  "I will owe you an answer for that in the ring," he challenged him, sounding much weaker than he'd intended.

          "Be my guest.  My sword awaits yours."  Scott dipped his head courteously.

          "There will be not squeeling, like a girl or otherwise."  Kayla cut in, drawing the confrontation to a close.  "I am a very skilled healer amongst our remaining people.  If all goes well, I doubt you will feel any pain, sir knight."  Then quickly, before anyone could react, the bowmaiden's hands lashed out and seized hold of Brad's shoulder, along with the arrow.  To the amazement of all, the shaft snapped right off after a momentary pressure; even more incredible was the fact that the wounded knight did not seem to feel anything.  All five men sat transfixed as Kayla tossed the shaft away and continued with her examination.

             Brad quickly realized that the arrowhead was still in his shoulder and hidden from the bowmaiden's view by his thick steel shoulder armorplate.  He cleared his throat.  "Perhaps I should take off the-"

               Kayla did not wait for him to finish.  Unhesitatingly, she pushed the offended piece of armor down toward his back and examined the tunic underneath.  Then she tore it, revealing a dirty, bloody shoulder.

               Brad winced, though not from pain.  "That was my best tunic."

             "You can have mine, though personally I don't think that blue is your color."  Steve offered.

              Brad never heard the jibe; all his attention was on the woman who was looking at his wounded shoulder like it was a slab of beef in meat market.  Kayla's forehead wrinkled in concentration.  "The bleeding has slowed already; a very good sign, but the arrowhead is stuck deeper than I would like.  It could be pulled out, but I believe we should bandage the wound and wait until the flow of blood ceases."  She met Brad's eyes.  "Will you please remove your armor on this arm, sir knight?  Otherwise the bandage will be very awkward."

            The knight did as he was told, growing increasingly nervous.  The rest of the company was very aware of this, but no one laugher or made bets.  Tearing off a small piece of line, Kayla wet it using the canteen and reached for Brad's shoulder.  The knight braced himself for an explosion of pain, but soon realized he felt nothing more than an unpleasant tingle in his shoulder.  Relaxing his body, he gazed down at his shoulder and watched peacefully as the bowmaiden skillfully cleaned away all the blood and pus, unveiling the scarred olive skin underneath.  The other knights sat frozen as if caught in a spell; though she was only healing Brad, that healing somehow spread to the rest of them, melting the cares of the day away.

             Alas, it could not last forever; after a minute or so, Kayla finished her cleansing and the spell was broken.  It was then that Brad found his tongue in his mouth and moments later his foot.  "You have soft hands," he observed, a slight smile on his face.  "They feel nice on my not-so-soft skin."

              The rest of the company gaped in astonishment at the remark.  Kayla seemed not to notice it, concentrating on making her bandages.  "Thank you."

               Taking her acceptance of the comment as a good sign, Brad gave her a cocky grin.  "Any chance of feeling those soft lips?'

              If they were astonished before, now his companions had gone into shock.  This time Kayla turned her gaze on him, eyebrows raised but not quite comprehending.  "I don't know what your mother told you as a child, but I doubt that kissing the wound will help."

              Brad grinned shamelessly.  "Who said anything about kissing the wound?"

             At first the bowmaiden did not seem to get it, then realization dawned in her eyes.  Anger flashed into them and she opened her mouth to speak, but closed it quickly, knowing that angry words would be wasted on him.  Then an idea came to her and she spoke with feigned inspiration, "Wait, I think I can pull it out!"  Again before Brad could react, her arm snaked out and dug into his shoulder, attempting to fish the arrowhead out.  Her fingers reached deep into the wound and it took a few moments for her to dislodge the piece of flint.  Finally she pulled out the arrowhead  and threw it away, quickly applying pressure to staunch the blood flowing anew from the knight's shoulder.  Upon the violent removal of the foreign object, Brad let out a bloodcurdling scream and nearly passed out from the pain.  Kayla ignored his cry and continued her work.

            The other knights winced at the sound, feeling a bit sorry for their companion.  Well, most of them did.  "Somebody owes me ten ducats," Scott observed matter-of-factly.

            Wyatt and Steve glared at him, but Dan remained his usual stoic self.  "No one does, Scott.  None of us took the bet." he pointed out.

           "True," Scott admitted.


           Finishing her bandaging of Brad's shoulder, Kayla stood up and faced the rest of the group.  "I have done all I can," she stated coolly.  "The wound is deep and there is much blood, but the arrow has been removed, so it should heal quickly.  Do not let him put his armor back on or remove the bandage; I will change it tomorrow before you leave."  She glanced at Brad's dazed form and her demeanor softened.  "Since you are no doubt tired from the day's ride, I will fulfil my last command and bring you something to eat."

          Dan nodded tiredly.  "Please do, Lieutenant; we have not eaten a full meal since dawn."

           "Then I will make certain to give to you the heartiest meal that Redwood can provide."  Kayla turned to leave, but not before glancing at Brad one last time.  "Make sure he drinks some water when he awakens."  With that, she ran off into the village, her form melting into the trees and becoming invisible in the twilight.

           The knights watched her leave, still amazed by what had transpired in the last few minutes.  Wyatt spoke for all of them.  "I had heard that the people of Redwood were a hardy folk, but I never expected their women to be so ... assertive." he said.

          "Indeed," Scott commented.  "Remind me never to flirt with one of their bowmaidens."

           "Perhaps someone should remind Brad," Dan pointed out as the wounded knight stirred.  Wyatt walked over and nudged him hesitantly.  "Are you-"

           "Yes, I'm perfectly all right!"  Brad growled, sitting up painfully.  "No need to hover over me like a hungry vulture.  I just became a little light-headed, that's all.  Loss of blood."  He looked around and noted that it was just the five of them.  "She's gone?"  He sounded surprised and a bit disappointed.

             Dan nodded distractedly.  "Yes.  She went to bring us some supper."

             "Ah, supper.  Nothing does the body good after bleeding like a stuck pig like a nice big supper."  Brad stared into the distance, a strange smile spreading across his face.  "You know, I think she likes me."

              Steve stared at him incredulously.  "I think you should have your head examined."

            "Or my heart."  Theatrically Brad clutched his chest with her good arm.  "Alas, I fear I have been smitten a blow from which I will never recover."

            "I think you mean 'smote'," Scott offered.

             Ignoring the banter, Wyatt knelt down at the wounded knight's side and leaned in close so he was looking inside his ear.  This irritated Brad.  "What are you doing?"

           "Examining your head," Wyatt replied matter-of-factly.  "I want to make certain your brain didn't pour out your ears when you nearly fell off your horse."

            The others laughed; Brad's face turned red and he shoved Wyatt away angrily.  "Oh, all of you are just jealous because I know how to attract women, while you are all destined to live your entire lives as bachelors!" he sputtered.

              Wyatt laughed again.  "If it makes you feel better, keep telling yourself that, Brad."  He rose and clapped him on his wounded shoulder.

           "Yeow!"

           "The bowmaidens have returned," Dan said stoicly.

            They all turned to see Kayla returned with four other women, each carrying a basket.  Wordlessly they placed their offerings before the knights so that each had a basket; all of them were covered by a cloth, but they could smell the food within.  The bowmaidens retreated into the village, except for Kayla, and seeing them gone, the knights unveiled thier gifts and stared at them in wonder.  Instead of a fresh-cooked feast, there was simply a gamey, barely-preserved cut of days-old venison and a stale loaf of bread.  They eyed the meal with unchecked disappointed, prompting the bowmaiden lieutenant to speak.

              "This food is from her Ladyship's personal stores." she said hesitantly.  "I know it isn't much to one who has eaten at the King's table, but it is the very best we have."

               As she spoke, Dan took a bite of the meat and the others followed suit; it was cold and tough to chew, but not terrible.  "Lieutenant, I have never eaten at the King's table, but this is as fine a meal as I have eaten in some time." He assured her diplomatically.

           "Yes, this is good." Scott chimed in, still chewing.  Steve and Wyatt nodded their assent.

             Brad eyed his piece critically.  "Well, it could use a little salt-"  Wyatt kicked him.  "-But it's good."

            "Excellent," Kayla said with obvious relief.  "Forgive my manner, but food is not easy to come by.  Madison's men burn the forest and scatter the game, and with trade nonexistent the ingredients to make bread are hard to obtain.  Many villagers still keep their own gardens, but-"  her voice trailed off and she shook her head, as if shaking off evil thoughts.  "I will leave you to your meal.  When it is time I will come for you and bring you to the Great Hall."

           Dan nodded.  "We will await your coming, Lieutenant."  The bowmaiden bowed in the Redwood fashion and left them without another word.

            The company ate in silence; or rather, they contemplated their food in silence.  On impulse, Brad picked up his bread and struck it against his breastplate.  It hit with a loud clank, like that of sounding a gong.  "Am I the only one that finds this meal less than satisfactory?" he asked, staring at the bread.

             "Quit complaining.  This is better than the barracks food, at least."

             "I never ate the barracks food; I prefer the tavern fare."

              "This came from a storehouse," Dan commented, more to himself than to the others.  "And not a very good one.  No salt was used to preserve the venison and it wasn't frozen either.  The bread has not seen the inside of an oven in some time.  This food is weeks old and I have no doubt that this is the best fare they can offer us."  He cracked the bread open and tore off a small piece.  "I do not like the idea of taking food away from these people, but we have no choice if we are to make it to Katriel.  In any case, we will take as little as we can and eat even less so long as we are here."  Through speaking his mind, Dan retreated back into his meal, quickly lost in thought.

             The company would have slipped into complete, comfortable silence just then if not for Wyatt.  "And when will we take leave of this place, provided her Ladyship does not drive us out tonight." He gave Dan a meaningful look.

              Reluctantly, Dan pulled himself out of his musings.  "Late tomorrow afternoon, just before dusk.  We travel southeast under cover of darkness."

              Wyatt couldn't believe his ears.  "Dusk?!  We won't be able to see our hands in front of our faces!"

             "True, but neither will our enemies.  The quickest way into Sullivan from here is due southeast, over several hundred miles Holden countryside.  If we ride through the night, we should be able to avoid any Baron's men that might pose a threat to us."

            "Unless, of course, we get lost in the dark and end up right in their camp." Wyatt said, exasperated.  "I don't know if you have traveled through the eastern hill country, Dan, but I have and I tell you, it is very easy to lose your way if you are not on a road.  There are few towns and villages out there and all the terrain looks the same in every direction.  Also the clouds cover the stars across the dome of the sky this time of year and a mist obscures everything beyond a few feet from midnight to midmorning.  Only a native could find his way through that country, and I don't think I could do it, not in the dark.  We would do better to go back south and find the East road."

            Dan shook his head.  "If we went back to the road, we would lose an entire day, and I would not lose a moment if I could help it."

           "Better to lose a day than lost our way."  Wyatt countered.  "A delay that small won't hurt our quest.  In fact, we should probably stay another day in Redwood, if at all possible.  We could learn more of the state of things and have a fuller report to send back to the Queen."

            "Odd, I would have thought you'd be more eager to reach your homeland quickly, Wyatt." Brad commented wryly.  "You did say you were born in Sullivan, after all."

            To everyone's surprise, Wyatt did not answer back.  Instead his face flushed and he turned away, silent.

            "And I would have thought you'd welcome the idea of staying another day, Brad,  you being so smitten for the bowmaiden Kayla."  Steve said in kind, coming to Wyatt's defense.

          Brad opened his mouth to release a biting retort, but Dan closed off the conversation.  "Enough," he said brusquely.  "All of us are uneasy and taking it out on one another will not help.  Eat your food; we will need the energy."  To illustrate his point, he took a bite of the loaf and fell into a brooding silence.

           The others thought to ask him what he meant by needing the energy, but Dan's expression said that he was through talking.  They ate quietly in an atmosphere of dreaded anticipation.  Hours seemed to pass, but it was only fifteen minutes later when Kayla returned, face set, eyes determined.

         "It is time," she said.

Scene 16:  The Judgement Seat

           The Great Hall was held in an anxious, brooding silence as the last rays of natural light crept back over the horizon.  It was as if a great smothering darkness had overcome the heart of the village, chasing away hope and feeding the despair barely starved off in the daytime.  The occupants of the Great Hall fought off the black mood, but its presence still hung in the air, ready to descend at the first sign of an opportunity to take hold.  It was at this time that Kayla and the knights entered.

           If the company was ill at ease before, it was many times more so now.  Crude candelabras dotted the chamber, illuminating much of the room but leaving many patches of darkness.  On the far side of the room on a wooden throne sat Lady Bethany, no longer in bowmaiden garb but wearing a simple but elegant blue dress, worn from much use but somehow still fitting for a noble lady.  She wore nothing, perhaps possessed nothing, to advertise her position, but even aside from the throne there as no doubt as to who was in charge.  Her expression was fierce and wary, a far cry from the sympathy and hospitality she had exuded earlier.  The hostess had gone for now; in her place was an impartial judge, ready to weigh the facts and ready to condemn, in spite of what felt about the object of her scrutiny.  Though he knew that the cold, emotionless face was just a mask she wore, Dan could not help but be intimidated by it.

          What was even more intimidating was the fact that First Captain Christy of Redwood stood right beside her.

           The malevolent bowmaiden appeared as they had last seen her: dressed in the colors of the forest and armed to the teeth.  The bow was strapped to the quiver across her back and the massive sword still hung at her side, an unusual sight on one so petit, but one that looked vaguely familiar to several of the knights.  The only change in Christy's appearance was that the hood over her cloak now draped over her head, shadowing and hiding her face.  Though her eyes could not be seen, the knights were certain that she was glaring at them.

             Regally her Ladyship raised a hand to ensure silence, even though the company, Kayla, and the aforementioned noblewomen were the only ones in the Great Hall.  Lowering the limb, she fixed her eyes upon and addressed the sojourners.  "We meet again, sir knights.  I trust my people have provided well for your need?"

            Remembering himself, Dan bowed and the others followed suit.  "Yes, my lady.  Our horses have been stabled, our stomachs are full, and Sir Brad's wounds have been treated.  At the moment we lack nothing."

            "Good." Lady Bethany glanced at their guide.  "Kayla, you may leave us now."

            Wordlessly, the bowmaiden bowed and took her leave.  The door slid shut behind her, its closure making the knights more uneasy than before.  To her credit, the lady did her best to make them feel more comfortable.  "Due to the ... situation earlier, I regret that we were not able to have proper introductions.  As I mentioned in passing, I am Bethany, Lady of Redwood and formerly daughter of Lord Robert of Redwood.  Next to me is my blood cousin Christy, First Captain of Redwood and my chief military commander and advisor.  The maiden who just left is called Kayla, an elite bowmaiden and lieutenant to the First Captain of Redwood.  She is not of noble blood, but is one of our many valiant villagers turned warriors, though I cannot remember anything of her background ..."

             "Farmer's daughter," Christy interjected flatly.

             Bethany nodded.  "Yes, I suppose you would know.  Well, that is who we are; I do not believe in hiding such things from anyone.  The question now is, who are you?  You need not repeat your names; I know them already, but I would know your intention.  That is why we are here, is it not?"

            Dan blinked.  "Now?"

            "Yes, why not?"

              The knight shifted uneasily and glanced guiltily at the First Captain.  "My lady, I was under the impression that this meeting would be conducted alone."

              Bethany raised an eyebrow.  "You are not alone, Sir Dan, and this is not a problem for you.  Likewise, I am not alone.  Anything you can say to me you can say to my cousin."

               Dan sucked in a breath and tried again.  "My lady, our quest is of the most sensitive nature.  If word were to reach unfriendly ears of what we are doing, I shudder to think of the consequences.  The only way I can be certain of our safety is if we reveal our intention in private conference."

              "Did you not hear her Ladyship?"  Christy snapped, addressing them for the first time.  "Your arrogant request is denied!  Here I am and here I will stay, foul traitor!"

              Dan ignored the outburst.  "My lady, if you would listen-"

              "No, you listen!" the bowmaiden bellowed, her voice filling the chamber.  "Listen and know the Truth!"  With the sharp, pure rasp of steel, she drew her sword in a flash of blinding light.  The knights winced in its brightness and shielded their eyes until the light faded and they saw the sword for what it was.

                  Now that they saw it drawn, the company realized why the blade had seemed so familiar.  It seemed to be made of pure silver, polished to perfection and appearing newly forged, reflections of their surroundings rippling across its surface.  The sword was double-edged, of a simple design and unadorned save for a jewel in the pommel.  The stone looked like a diamond, yet the knights knew it wasn't, and it focused light like a prism, explaining the effect it had had when first drawn.  Most remarkable about the sword was its size; from pommel to tip it was nearly five feet long, all but dwarfing the petit woman who held it aloft.  It was the weapon of a hero, a champion, and the company knew just which champion.

                    Christy seemed to know it, too.  "I see you recognize the blade, sir knights; I thought you might.  If you had been of the King's guard, you would have seen it worn in the barracks.  If you had been our enemies, you would have seen it bleeding in my hand.  This is sruthplade, called Truthblade, forged in legend and found by a knight.  This knight was a son of Redwood, a knight of the King's guard, of a great and noble birth, captain of this same royal guard, champion of King Timothy of Redwood, husband to a murdered wife, father to two yet-living daughters, slain on the battlefield of Castle Redwood," the captain's voice caught as emotion overtook her.  "My father.  And one way or another, you owe me a great debt for the spilling of his blood.  As allies, your crime is not being there when armies of Holden overwhelmed us.  As enemies-" she lowered the blade towards them, eyes glaring menacingly.  "As enemies, you owe me your lives, and if I had my way here I would take them now in payment."


                The knights stood transfixed, like deer caught in a hunter's torchlight. In the back, Brad gulped.


                Lady Bethany, however, waved off the threat as if it were nothing out of the ordinary.  "Peace, cousin," she said with a wave of her hand.  Christy relented and sheathed her blade.  "They are not our enemies yet.  That is still to be determined."  She fixed her scrutinous gaze on the knights, eyes piercing like arrows, her judgment as harsh and unrelenting as a sword.  "Now that the matter of our privacy is settled, I would hear what errand it is that you refused to speak of earlier."


                Dan took a deep breath, his uneasiness unabated.  He glanced at his companions and saw the same feelings in their eyes.  "My lady, before I answer that, I need to know whether you are an enemy of Westbrooke or not."


                The piercing gaze grew more focused.  "Why would Redwood ever seem an enemy of Westbrooke?"


                 "Your practice of assaulting men in the uniform of the King's guard could call your loyalty into question."


                 Bethany sighed.  "Sir Dan, few people anymore travel along the borders of Redwood, and those that do are our enemies."


                "How can you know this for certain if you shoot everyone that comes across your path?" Brad challenged, free hand protectively clutching his wounded shoulder.


                "Because most of the time they shoot first!"  Christy practically snarled.  That quieted Brad.


               Dan was not as easily cowed.  "My lady, you have not answered my question."


               Her Ladyship narrowed her eyes warily.  "Sir Dan, my father swore fealty to Westbrooke, as did his father, and his father before him.  Are you implying that I would dare soil the honor of my family?"


                 "No, Lady Bethany, but it is clear that many changes have taken place here since we last received word from Redwood.  I would like to understand better what these changes have wrought."


                "I see.  Then know, sir knights, that Redwood, though beaten, torn, and merely a remnant of its former self, is as it always was: the razor's edge separating Westbrooke from the enemies of the East.  We will wage war against whomever breaks the peace of our land, or of our greater motherland.  Guardians are what we are and what we have always been."


                "Judging from what we have seen here, my lady, you have not performed your role as guardians very well."  Wyatt commented wryly, tone slightly indignant.


               Immeadiately, Bethany's dissecting gaze latched onto him.  "We guard your country, too, knight from Sullivan."  She said pointedly, ignoring the tasteless comment.  Wyatt stiffened visibly, but the reaction only encouraged her.  "You are from Sullivan, are you not?  Yes, I recognize your accent, though I've never met any of your people who wore the colors and crest of another kingdom.  Did the Countess exile you?"

               Wyatt paled, clearly shaken, at the moment incapable of saying anything in his defense.  Eyes averted, he shrank back, thoroughly silenced.

                Before anyone could dwell on the implications, Dan cleared his throat and seized the floor once more.  "I believe that we have let ourselves get distracted from our true purpose here."

                Bethany relaxed in her seat and took her gaze from Wyatt.  "Indeed.  And you have not answered my question yet."

               Dan sighed deeply.  "My lady, I told you earlier that we were on a mission for the Queen to the East in the King's absense.  What I did not tell you is that the Queen has sent us east to find the King himself.  A year ago he was kidnapped overseas, by the wizard Gerard our sources say.  We are to find him and rescue him if possible from this sorcerer who holds him captive."

               As the words left his mouth, Dan realized anew how ridiculous the idea sounded; apparently Bethany did as well.  She laughed, a loud musical laugh.  "Is that all?  I though you were going to try to scale the Wall or walk across the southern sea in search of the lost prince!"  The laughter continued.

                 Despite feeling mocked, Dan could not restrain a chuckle himself.  "My lady, I must protest-"

               "Be at ease, Sir Dan, I believe you.  I just do not believe what you are attempting is possible, since there is no dark wizard behind the Wall."

               "You don't believe Gerard exists?"

                She shook her head.  "The stories people tell about the Eastlands are little more than old wives' tales.  I do not believe half the legends about that place.  Oh, something is there, otherwise there would be nothing to fuel the talk, but I certainly do not think a thousand-year-old wizard has his home there.  If he were half as powerful as people say he is, he would have left those wastes and conquered the northern kingdoms ages ago.  If he has been gone so long without a demand for ransom, it is likely that your King is dead."

                  The knights shifted uncomfortably, disliking this speculation.  Dan spoke again.  "I have spoken personally with the sole known survivor of the expedition in which the King was lost.  They were traveling by sea and their ship was torn to pieces in what he could only describe as a supernatural storm.  While he did not exactly see what became of him, he did glimpse him drifting safely on a piece of wreckage towards a fortress in the distance by the sea, one that was not on any of their charts.  The coast they were near was part of the Eastlands."

                 Bethany raised an eyebrow.  "And you believe he is still alive?"

                "The Queen believes it; that is enough."

                 The Lady of Redwood sighed and shook her head.  "And what, may I ask, do you hope to accomplish?  Even if you could find this fortress - and how you would survive the Eastlands and the sea I cannot imagine - how do you propose to rescue the King from a fabled wizard who allegedly could turn your bones to dust with a wave of his hand?"

                  Dan hesitated a second before answering, freshly faced with the problem that haunted him day and night.  "I believe we will ford that stream when we come across it."  He didn't believe for a moment that they could.

                  "Hmm."  Deliberately Bethany's eyes found his and held them in tandem, searching for whatever truth she discover behind them.  Understanding shined in there and compassion with it.  Then as quickly as the silent exchange had begun, it passed.  "Well, I am not sure if I wholly follow your logic, sir knights, but I am convinced your story is the truth." she said to their relief and the First Captain's horror.  "As servants of the King, you are welcome in Redwood.  Our village is yours and if there is anything you ever require from us, we will give it without hesitation."

                For the first time since the meeting began, smiles broke out.  "Thank you, my lady," Dan answered, a slight smile on his own face.  "And I assure you, our friendship work both ways.  If ever there is something you need of us, do not hesitate to ask for it.  Whether it is advice or help fending off your enemies, while we are here we stand ready to do your will."

                Bethany smiled as well.  "Thank you, sir knights.  Right now, though, I think it is you that needs something of me."

               "You are correct.  We need to replenish our food supplies; just enough for us to get to Katriel in Sullivan.  That is all; we would not ask any more of you."

                "You shall have it."  A slight grin creeping across her face, the lady glanced at her cousin.  "As I said earlier, my hospitality extends to offer anything else you might need.  In that spirit, I also give you my full permission to roam the village to your heart's content.  You may speak to any of the people you meet as long as you do not disturb any in their homes.  No doubt your Queen would have you send back only the most complete report of our plight here; for this reason I give you leave to explore."

                  Dan opened his mouth to thank her, but Christy's outburst drowned out his words.  "Forgive me, my lady, but have you lost your mind?" she exclaimed in shock and disbelief.  "We cannot allow-"

                 "Your objections are duly noted, cousin, but the decision is mine and I stand by it."  Bethany stood, indicating that the discussion was closed.  "This audience is concluded.  You may stay in Redwood as long as you like, but I suspect you must leave sooner rather than later.  Until then, all that I have is yours."  She bowed in her fashion with the First Captain grudgingly following her lead.  The company bowed as one and watched as they rose the Lady of Redwood exit the chamber.  Christy was not far behind, but did not leave before stopping to address the knights one last time.

               "You may have my cousin convinced, but I am not so easily deceived." she hissed, reminding the knights of a coiled snake.  "Have a care where you tread or whom you trifle with; tonight I will be watching you." She gave them a parting glare and left the Great Hall.

                A great gust of air blew in the chamber as the company released the breath they hadn't known they were holding.  "A friendly lot, these Redwood folk."  Wyatt said with a touch of sarcasm.

              "A fearful lot,"  Dan observed thoughtfully.  "They do not trust easily."

              Brad winced and touched his shoulder.  "I've noticed.  Can we leave this chamber now?  Just standing here is making my shoulder hurt."

The Great Hall was emptied moments later.  Outside the sun had completely set, the moon invisible from the forest floor.  Torches were lit all over the tree village, but other than a few patrolling bowmaiden not a soul was out of doors.  Which was both lonely and peaceful at the same time.

 

               As if an order had been given, each man fell silent, slipping into their own thoughts.  Something about this place cast a spell, one both disturbing and inviting; the blood of innocents crying out from unmarked graves.  Horror. Terror.  Fear.  Hope.  It bore investigation.

 

               Slowly, reluctantly, Dan tried to break the spell.  "Well, it has been a long day; unforseen challenges have arisen and much has happened that we need to think about.  I won't try to tell any of you how to spend your evening; however, I do recommend that you rest.  As for me, I am leaving."  Without another word, he turned and walked away.

 

                 The rest of the company stood gaping, hardly believing what they had just heard. None of them went after Dan, though.  "Wait, where are you going?" Wyatt asked, the first to regain control of his tongue.

 

                 The knight continued walking, not caring to turn around.  "Just ... somewhere."  They watched as he disappeared behind the trees out of sight.

 

                Wyatt, Scott, and Steve looked surprised at the sudden departure; Brad just looked irritated.  "Well, in that case, I am going ... somewhere else."  He spun and stalked off in the opposite direction.

 

               The reaction was more frustration that shock this time.  "Where do you think you're going?" Steve asked, slightly irritated.

 

               "For a walk.  I need to get away from all these shoulder-shooting bowmaidens and clear my head."

 

                 "You're headed straight for the heart of the forest!" Wyatt called out.  "Without a road you'll get lost."

 

                "No, I won't."  Within moments he too had disappeared into the trees.

 

                The three looked at each other.  "Someone should keep an eye on Brad." Scott observed.  "He's liable to run into trouble.'

 

                 Wyatt shrugged.  "Don't stay here on my account.  Since we are all bound to go our separate ways tonight and have leave to wander the village, I don't see why either of you need to stay in camp.  My plans for the evening are to sit staring into the fire for a few hours, but I do not need company."

 

                 Scott nodded.  "In that case, I think I shall follow Brad into the woods.  It is difficult to predict what he'll do and there may be something out there of interest.  Don't think too hard."  Casually, he turned and strolled off in the direct the other knight had gone, whistling as he went.

 

              That left only Steve.  Uneasy about leaving the troubled Wyatt, he hesitated.  "Are you-"

 

                  Wyatt shook his head, cutting him off.  "Go on.  Someone has to watch the camp anyway.  I'll be fine.  In fact, I think Dan is the one we should worry about."

 

                 Steve didn't agree but he nodded anyway.  Nothing left to say, he turned and walked further into the village, but not without glancing back at the other knight.  Wyatt watched him until he, too, disappeared from sight.  Sighing heavily, he made his way back to camp, a single thought haunting him the entire way.  I swore once that I would never go back, he berated silently.  What have I done?

 

 


Sunday, September 25, 2005

Currently Listening
Simply Nothing
By Shawn McDonald
see related

Considering how little I've spoken of myself personally on this site in the last 9 months and how little I've spoken of it lately, I would be remiss if I didn't offer a heads-up on how my life is going.  God, I write long sentances.  For the most part I've been trying to get back on the horse, as it were; not just in school, but in life.  I still feel a profound uncertainty about where it is all going; my relationships are a bit off, particularly with you Westbrooke folk.  In a way I feel like I'm on the outside looking in on my life and I'm not sure I like that.  I try to tell myself that nothing has changed, but deep down I know better than that.  I've changed.  I'm not sure how, but something happened to me between last August and April; I'm different somehow and I have trouble understanding myself.  Things are bit better now that I'm back in school, but it's not the same and again I don't think I like it. 

On the flipside, I feel a bit more ... directed on what God's will is for my life.  I came to K-State convicted that this was the place God wanted me to be right now, which doesn't sound like much but really it's a huge load off my mind.  There are some other things, but the most surprising one this fall is my newfound zeal for writing.  Yes, I am talking about my current work-in-progress.  Normally it takes a phenomenal amount of willpower to make me sit down and write a few paragraphs.  Lately, I've been overtaken by an incredible real-time urge to write, so much so that I've written nearly as many scenes in a month than I did the entire extended summer!  I've never been so driven in my entire life.  This is certainly not the first book I've attempted to write and not my favorite by far, but I think God wants me to finish this one.  I'm only a third of the way through the first part, but if I pick up the pace I could have it done and edited by next fall.  From there, who knows?  I must say that I am pumped, and I am rarely pumped anymore, except watching the Chiefs.  Man, those broncos are dead meat.

Pressing on,

Christy


Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Scene 14:  A Cord of Three Strands is Not Quickly Broken

A fragrant, gentle breeze brushed through the trees of Redwood's last village, its sweet caress comforting and soothing the people as night fell around them.  Leaves shook, the fires of the torches quivered, and dust and ashes whipped quietly through the branches, all of it nudging the villagers to end their work and surrender to the comfort of their beds.  Christy, First Captain of Redwood, took no notice of this, however.  Intent upon her destination, she strode angrily through the forest, ignoring the greetings of the people around her.  She did not have to walk too far before she came across Bethany, Lady of Redwood.  The two met up wordlessly and by unanimous decision chose to walk further into the village.  Upon reaching an exceptionally large, partially-hollowed-out tree, the elder cousin stopped and turned to the other.  "Well, Captain?" she asked expectantly, eyebrows raised.

Christy shook her head vigorously, not satisfied with their position.  "Inside the Hall."

Heaving a silent sigh, Bethany strode up to the tree and opened a door carved out of its trunk.  The two ducked inside and entered a crude but naturally elegant chamber.  Constructed with great care within the bowels of the large timber, the Hall was half again the height of a man from floor to ceiling and large enough to accommodate nearly fifty people comfortably.  The chamber was unadorned save for a short platform on its far side with a wooden chair sitting on it.  At one time the Hall was a judgment seat where the village chieftain would judge grievances and legal disputes.  Now, it was the place from which the last Lady of Redwood ruled her people.  It was a far cry from the Great Hall of Castle Redwood.  Our ancestors would weep if they could see how far we have fallen, Christy thought angrily.

If Bethany herself was ever disturbed by such thoughts, she gave no sign of it.  Tiredly, she crossed the room and settled into her chair.  A long moment passed before she spoke.  "All right, cousin, we're here; no other soul can hear us.  Now, what did you want to speak to me about?"

"You know perfectly well what I want to speak to you about." Christy uttered through gritted teeth.  "You, cousin of mine, just invited five strangers, certainly spies from Holden, into our wood.  Have you forgotten that we are at war?"

The last words were spoken sharply, almost mockingly, but Bethany ignored their tone; she was well accustomed to her cousin's fiery temper.  "No, Christy, I have not forgotten.  Every morning I am reminded of it when I wake, but stressful times are no excuse for a lack of courtesy.  Whoever these men are, they came here seeking our aid and honor demands that we offer them our hospitality."

"What good is honor if we're dead?" her cousin countered furiously.  "Matters have never been worse in Redwood.  Our forces dwindle, while theirs grow every day.  The enemy is ever searching for us; the last thing we need to be doing is entertaining some of them at our doorstep.  For once, heed my advice: kill them now, tonight, before they have a chance to escape."

The Lady scoffed at the argument.  "Come now, surely you don't seriously think that these men are spies?  They don't have the look of the Baron's men and they wear the armor and colors of the King's personal guard." she gave her a pointed look.  "The exact same uniform your father wore, I believe."

At the mention of her dead sire, Christy's teeth began to grind.  Her voice was tense, almost pained, when she spoke again.  "Yes, my father wore the uniform of the King's guard, as did many knights from Redwood.  They all fell in the great battle; their bodies, like so many others that day, were never burned on the funeral pyre.  Madison could have looted their remains before retreating into Holden and saved the armor and garments as trophies; he's been known to do that.  To spy out our last stronghold in Redwood, the Baron may have decided to clothe his men in the King's garb to see if he could infiltrate our ranks."

Bethany's forehead wrinkled in concentration.  "Possible, but not very likely."

"More likely than those knights actually being King's men."

The Lady of Redwood sighed.  "Cousin, your arguments are weak.  I am not convinced, and I don't think you're convinced yourself."

The bowmaiden captain became indignant.  "I am so convinced, and I will remain convinced until the King himself walks in here and declares them his own."

Bethany didn't believe this knee-jerk response for a moment.  "Why is it so hard for you to accept that these men might be who they say they are?" she asked, eyes boring into the other's.

Christy's angry facade immediately melted away.  "Because-" her voice cracked, forcing here to clear her throat before continuing.  Her tone was quiet and pleading, almost desperate.  "Do you have any idea what it would mean if what they say is the truth?  That the King had no knowledge of our plight and that they are the first to have any communication with us in more than five years?"

Bethany nodded regally.  "Yes.  It would mean that we have hope now."

"No," Christy said bitterly.  "It would mean that we have no hope."

Bethany thought to ask what she meant by that, but quickly realized she did not need to.  Here cousin wasn't about to be forthcoming in any case, so the two said nothing more of the matter.  A comfortable silence settled between them as each contemplated what the other had said.  Then just as the Lady of Redwood thought her kinswoman had been won over, the latter's face hardened into the same angry, suspicious mask it had worn before.  "But I will not give up hope!" she declared stubbornly.  "Not so easily."

Despite her efforts not to, Bethany groaned.  Eerily enough, the door groaned with her.

The two simultaneously turned and watched the Hall's door slowly creak open.  Moonlight streamed through the opening, then disappeared as the third and last surviving member of the noble house of Redwood entered.  She hesitated a moment at the door then strode into the chamber as if it were hers and hers alone.  Much like her sister and cousin but at the same time very different, she shared their shoulder-length brown hair and petit stature, but little else.  Carrying no weapons, she lacked the warrior dress of Redwood, having taken no part in the occupation of war.  Instead she wore a faded green dress which would have once been beneath her station, but now seemed appropriate enough.  While her cousins had strong, commanding presences, hers was lighter, more buoyant, like a fresh breeze blowing through a stale, empty house.

At the moment, though, Bethany and Christy found the fresh breeze a bit irritating.  Irked by the sudden unwelcome interruption, the Lady of Redwood could only manage a curt greeting.  "Hello, Laura." she said.  Christy merely grunted.

"Well, good evening to you, too."  Laura answered coolly.  She glanced from face to face.  "Did I interrupt something?"

Her diplomatic manner returning, Bethany gave an answer before her first cousin could respond.  "No, nothing important."

"Good, then neither of you will mind explaining to me what it is that the village is in an uproar over.  Some people were saying that there was a raid to the south, and others that aid has come from the Great City.  Then a few moments ago a runner arrived in the village who proclaimed that my exalted sister had captured five of the enemy's spies and would bring them back the Great Hall for judgment.  The rest is probably naught but idle rumors, but is it true we have spies?"

"No," Bethany quickly denied.

"Yes!" Christy affirmed snappishly.

Laura folded her arms across her chest and raised an eyebrow.  "Have you two been arguing again?"

Christy groaned and rolled her eyes.  "The runner spoke the truth; I did capture five knights riding along the southern edge of the forest.  Our cousin," she emphasized the statement with a frustrated glance, "just refuses to believe they are spies."

Bethany let out a very exasperated sigh.  "They wear the King's crest on their tunics.  I don't think that is common apparel for Madison's men."

"I have already explained that.  What more will it take for me to open your mind to the truth?"

"I do not think that debating this matter is getting us anywhere."  Bethany said with a sigh.  "We must leave the truth to be discovered at the judgment seat.  Speaking of which, the time is drawing near; I must change out of these warrior garments and into something more suitable." she bowed her head apologetically.  "Cousins, I must take my leave."

Christy responded in kind.  "I will be here when you return."

The Lady of Redwood nodded in acknowledgement, then met Laura's eyes.  The three curtsied in the Redwood fashion and the eldest of them left the Hall.  The door shut silently, only a soft whoosh of air penetrating the quiet that now settled over the room.

Nevertheless, the quiet did not last long.  "I do not like this situation at all." Christy growled.  "I don't care what Bethany says about the knights; the timing of it is too convenient.  Our forces have all fallen back to this last village, increasing numbers of patrols go missing, and far-riders bring reports of an army amassing on the Hill.  If ever there was a time for cold council in judgment it is now, and I don't think Bethany will be one to give it.  She trusts too much."

"And you don't trust at all."

The words came as an accusation, hard and direct; their tenor, though, was completely lost on the thoughtful captain.  "I am a captain of bowmaidens, a protector of the people; I cannot afford to be trusting." she answered Laura.  "When war comes, such things must leave; there is no place for it on the battlefield.  The bodies of the slain testify to broken trust."

Her sister bit back a weary sigh.  "Is that all we have anymore?  Just death and destruction?"

"That is all that Madison leaves us!" Christy snapped, anger rising at the mention of the hated name.  "He slaughters everything in sight and burns whatever is left.  Thousands die at his whim and none are left to avenge them.  His men slew our entire family and sent our father's head back to us in a sack .. or have you forgotten?"

"How can I forget?  You won't let me forget."  Laura said bitterly.

"And so we should not.  By forgetting we shame their sacrifice."

"And by wallowing in it we devalue their hopes for us."

Something in Laura's tone finally penetrated the walls erected around Christy's mind.  Eyes softening, she turned to her sister.  "This will end," she vowed passionately.  "Someday the war will be over and this will be all a distant memory.  The castle will be rebuilt, the trees will grow again, and life will go on like it did before.  It will happen." she swallowed hard, fighting back the emotion that threatened to overwhelm her.  "I will make it happen.  I promise you, we will live again."

Laura forced a smile.  "I wish I could say I believed that."

"Yes, so do I." Christy sighed.  The two fell silent and a rare moment of understanding passed between them. It didn't last long, but they held onto it as long as they could; insight was a priceless commodity.

"You need to get away from all this ... war-waging."  Laura suggested while the moment held sway.  "Why don't you give up the captaincy for a time?  There are plenty of lesser captains capable of handling the job, and Kayla is skilled enough to be a captain in her own right-"

"I can't." Christy stated plainly.  "There is too much for me to do, but since you insist, I will take the evening off.  After the spies are taken care of, course."

"What will you do now?"

"Stand here in this Hall and think whatever dark thoughts enter my head."

"Thinking is dangerous, you know."

"Yes," Christy affirmed slowly, as if pondering the meaning of the words.  "Yes, but danger is my life.  It is all I have."  With that, she turned absently to face the opposite wall, clearly finished with the conversation.

Knowing from experience when to quit, Laura made for the door, but stopped with her hand on the knob.  She turned around, wanting to say more to Christy but not having the inclination to do so.  Death and destruction.  Is that truly all we have?  She wanted to say no, but her heart said yes.  Swallowing the lump forming in her throat, she opened the door and left the Hall.  I wish it weren't so.

Pressing on,

Christy


Wednesday, September 14, 2005

All right, this is officially the writer's block now, as I don't think I'll be journaling as much as posting scenes.  For those of you who bother reading my story, I've decided to release some quotes from later scenes as a teaser.  Enjoy.

Bethany:  In ashes we are born; in ashes we die.  So be it.

Christy:  Keep your idealism as long as you can.  It is not easy to hold on to such things once your hands have been soaked in blood.

Scott:  If this is a dream, it is one I never wish to wake up from.

Brad: <exasperated>  You are without a doubt the most stubborn woman I have ever met! <grins>  I like stubborn women.

<Jon Munyan is in the middle of a fight with the Hammer.>

Jon:  Who are you?

Hammer:<evil grin>  Death.  <fighting continues>

 

<Dan has been trying to advise Christy about the upcoming battle.>

Christy: <a bit annoyed>  Tell me something: have you ever looked into the eyes of a man as he dies by your hand?

Dan:  No.

Christy:  Then you know nothing of war.

Dan:  The lives of men are not to be bartered as insignificant trinkets.

Josh: <eyes wide with horror>  I saw him ... and he saw me!

<after listening for Ben’s heartbeat.>

Tim: <in disbelief>  He’s … dead.

Pressing on,

Christy



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